Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
For most of us the image of a warm bath stirs the desire to undress, resurrect the bathroom candle from under the sink and lock the door…
We want to submerge ourselves into a tub and steal a few moments away to play with bubbles. The fact that we get clean while experiencing this blissful peace is the cherry atop the sundae of life!
Not so when you have Alzheimer’s. Not so at all.
Instead, the ritual of bathing often becomes an activity to fear. But why? And what can be done about it?
Well, from the perspective of a person with the disease, a whole lot goes on in that one little room! And many, if not all, of these things no longer make sense.
Like the noise that the water makes as it fills the tub.
If I have Alzheimer’s and I can’t remember what a tub is or what any of the steps are to washing my body and hair, should it really surprise anyone that I don’t want to sit in the water? Naked – I might add? For one thing, Alzheimer’s compromises my depth perception which means I can’t tell how deep the water is. What if I fall in and can’t get out??
For those of you who think a shower might work better, think again.
Assuming for another moment that I am a person with Alzheimer’s, I’d no doubt wonder what the heck that overhead contraption is or why water is shooting out if it. How nice, I’d think to myself, that you’d like me to take my clothes off and stand under that thing, but No Way, Jose. I don’t know you and/or don’t trust you – even if you are my spouse or my 50 year-old child. Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll skip it.
And skip it they do. Sometimes angrily. And so the family caregiver becomes frustrated and anxious – the same feelings the older adult experienced when the bathing battle began.
What to do…
1) Find and stick with what already works.
Not sure what works? Take a step back and think about the last time your aging parent did not fight you over bathing. Make a list of everything you can recall about how you approached it that day and attempt to replicate the experience.
Did you suggest a shower or a bath? (When in doubt, try a shower using a shower chair and a hand-held shower.)
What time of the day was it? (Earlier is better, but whatever time works, make it part of the routine. Try to avoid twilight as this time of day brings its own battles sometimes.)
Did you start the water before bringing mom or dad into the bathroom or after? (Best to start when they’re in the room, but start slowly – the force of the water can add to the anxiety around drowning which some folks have.)
Did mom or dad disrobe in private or in your presence? (Privacy is important at any age and let’s face it – it feels awkward to undress in front of others. Walk away or turn your back.)
Did he/she where something to cover themselves (Who says you have to be naked to get clean? If this is the sticking point for your aging parent, why not have them slip into something without arms and with a zip up the front? Who cares if it gets wet if it preserves modesty!)
If you’ve got any kind of a list at all after this exercise, what you’ve actually got is some clues for how to succeed.
Drawing a blank? Jot down your observations on what absolutely does NOT work with your aging parent as a way to quickly identify the things to never try again.
2) Consider a gimmick.
There are many stories documenting the calming effect that caring for a doll can have on those with Alzheimer’s. Introducing a doll to your aging parent and asking for his or her help in bathing the doll may actually work in the middle or late stages of Alzheimer’s. I say it’s definitely worth a shot. The Alzheimer’s Store sells lifelike, waterproof baby dolls for this purpose.
Another gimmick of sorts is to ease your aging parent into bathing. The best place to start? Their hair. There’s something very soothing about having one’s hair washed. For your mother in particular this may evoke happy memories of going to the beauty parlor to spruce up before a big event, etc. Be sure to keep the water and soap out of their eyes and when you’re finished, ask if they’d like to wash up their bodies too. This won’t always work, but a state of relaxation makes just about anything possible!
Don’t know where you might find the products to wash mom or dad’s hair at home without washing yourself at the same time? Look no further than Maria’s Home Beauty Parlor Store! Image may be NSFW.
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3) Respond to their fears by explaining your steps.
So much of what causes a person with Alzheimer’s to battle you over bathing has to do with fear of the unknown and having little control over the process. One way to calm your aging parents’ fears is to use your words to tell them what you’re doing at each step and asking for their permission (i.e. “I’m going to lift your feet into the tub now mom so I can wash them, is that okay?”). Speak softly and try as best you can not to make hurried moves. Think of the kind of reassurance you’d need if you were sitting in the dentist’s chair having a scary procedure!
4) Sit this one out.
Of all the things that you might consider hiring a professional to help you with, bathing may just belong at the top of the list. If you try these tips and don’t see the battle turning in your favor, it might be time to let someone with experience (and a successful track record), step in. If money is tight, hire someone for a day or two to show you their methods, then try again on your own.
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What are your tips for overcoming the bathing battle against Alzheimer’s? Chime in below!
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